I love cloudy skies
It’s as if the earth
Mirrors my mind
Birds fly through
Like thoughts,
Untroubled
A flash of brilliance
Masked by constructs
Houses built from my beliefs
I can hear it from a distance
Must I tear down the solidity
To witness the striking point of nothing?
I’m ready.
Those two words swirled around my head, over and over, tapping the ‘ON’ switch for my suit’s audio log recorder.
“Star date, 4050. Sanitation log, 67th entry: I can see the Egg. They completely undersold it back home, this thing is huge! Every time I see feels like the first… The crew is healthy, sanitation is tip top and the station is operating well. Personal note: I’ve seen the Egg every day for around 2 years now, mostly from the station and sometimes up close. I promise, I-” The intercom fizzed to life, “Alright space explorer, I think that’s enough for today! And you know they hate it when you call it an egg.”
“Well, it looks like an egg to me!” I exclaimed. The intercom fizzed back, and Carlos replied with, “I’m sure everyone back home is just waiting for your take on it, Simon. In the meantime, I need you to come back in before we get caught!” I sighed. The reel started dragging me back to the station, but I just couldn’t stop staring.
“Alright, ready to be received. Get a good look Si?” I almost didn’t hear him, but I managed some kind of grunt. There was something about staring into the Egg that boggled my mind. It constantly shifted, like it was made of ink. It had this way of imposing on you, even as the airlock door closed in front of me. “Come on, just a grunt? You know I could get fired for doing this right? At least tell me this was the best of the 67 times you’ve looked at the fucking thing!”
I rolled my eyes and tapped the intercom on, “Yes O Lord Carlos, this time was the best of them all!” Carlos laughed, swiftly turning into crackling as I disconnected the radio and removed my helmet. He opened the door and grabbed my shoulder, smiling that broken smile. “I really have no idea why you keep going out there. It never does anything.”
“Maybe to your untrained eye!” I said, flashing my own smile. Carlos rolled his eyes and swept me up into a bear hug. “Thousand apologies keen eye!” He chortled, squeezing the life out of me. Carlos was a huge guy, tall and muscly. I could feel his prickly beard as he squeezed me, about the only hair left on him, and I gasped a surrender out. He let me go and smiled that smile of his, as comforting as the smell of fresh bread, tousling my hair.
Carlos was a special guy. He had this way of making cold places feel warm, like a ray of sunlight through a window. I’d never met a gentle giant like him. Someone who wanted nothing from people except to make them smile as much as he did. We became friends quickly on the shuttle ride to the station when he showed me his tattoo, a large steel heart on the back of his hand.
I miss him so much…
“Are you two having fun?” Asked a cold voice, shaking me from a strange dream. Carlos immediately froze, spun and saluted, “No Senior Officer Gretkin!” “At ease First Technician, and you’re welcome to just call me Senior Officer. Now, can you explain why our Sanitation Officer is taking unscheduled space walks?” Carlos paled, looking down in the hopes that his shoes would save him. “I-it was my fault Senior Officer! I begged Carlos to let me out, honest!” I said quickly.
There couldn’t be a more perfect opposite to Carlos than Senior Officer Gretkin. She was that cold wind on a morning before a job interview. Her skinny frame, hooked nose and long nails made her terrifying enough, but the stories of Gretkin the Gore were legendary. She tore revolutionaries apart literally limb from limb on her home colony, and she probably liked them.
Gretkin shot me a look that dropped my heart into my stomach. “You will not address me, Sanitation Scum. You are Homebase trash that is here to clean and nothing more. While having you court martialled would be as simple as starving you in the brig or shooting you into space, I will not have you ruin this Technician’s career by opening your filthy mouth.”
She turned back to Carlos, “I will accept this as a momentary lapse, due to your outstanding record. But if it happens again, you will both be shuttled home with dishonourable discharges! UNDERSTOOD!?” There was nothing in this universe the Senior Officer loved more than protocol. Well, maybe reminding people of their rank and spitting on me when she thought I wasn’t looking.
Carlos and I nodded and the Senior Officer harrumphed her way out. We both breathed heavy sighs. “Alright, I think that’s enough excitement for the rest of my life. I’m going to bed!” Carlos made for the door but was stopped by a frantic looking Mary. He hair stuck out in all directions and she was completely out of breath. “Thank god both of you are here! We have to get to the command centre now! Emergency meeting.”
Mary doubled over, breathing as quickly as she could. I could hear the jingle of her many pins hitting one another as her body heaved. “Why, what’s wrong?” I asked, waiting for her to breathe again. “It’s the Egg!” she cried, grabbing me by the shoulders. “Y-yeah?” I said nervously, “What about it?”
“We found life in it!”
—————————————————————————————————————-
The atmosphere in the command centre was tense. That was mostly due to the captain, and her wickedly piercing eyes. They were crystal clear grey and could stare straight through any bullshit a crew member had the gall to say. I’m sure she had a name once, a smile and even a family. Maybe she still did, somewhere else. Here, however, she was the captain, and no one forgot it.
The captain sat at the head of the table, rhythmically tapping her fingers on the holo-table. It showed the Egg in its entirety, bulging into our universe. Even as a projection, the thing was huge. Another thing that was making everyone tense, however, was the glowing green life signature pulsating softly in time with the captain’s tapping.
“…and in conclusion, we can see some sort of living matter within the Egg’s density. The scan was too weak to penetrate the Egg fully, but we managed to pick up something akin to a heartbeat at the very least.” The captain, not moving her eyes even an inch away from the green pulse said, “Thank you Dr Quentis. Senior Officer Gretkin, how do you suggest we proceed?” The Senior Officer thought for a moment, as if she didn’t already have 5 plans and 10 contingencies.
“I believe our most prudent and obvious action is to call Homebase for support, captain…” She stated, almost spitting the word ‘captain’ out. “Watch your tone with me Gretkin, I outrank you still. Unless you wish to return to Homebase early, something I’m sure I can arrange with your superiors.” Gretkin stiffened and bowed her head, but I saw her tighten her fist. That wasn’t going to be forgotten easily.
“Carlos, man the command room. You will contact Homebase and request a science shuttle. I’m sure they won’t be happy to return after being relieved for just a few months, so make sure you mention the life sign as frequently as possible. You may retire to your bunk once they accept and not a moment sooner! The rest of you will go about your business, that’s an order! Dismissed!”
We all moved away while Carlos set off to radio Homebase. I gathered my supplies and waited patiently outside of the command room. The captain strolled past but stopped to look at me. “Should you be cleaning Sanitation Officer?” She asked, raising a single eyebrow. I tried to grin, but I couldn’t. “I will captain, I just…” She sighed and crossed her arms, “You want to know how much longer you have in space, yes?”
I nodded, swallowing. The captain was silent for a moment but clapped a hand onto my shoulder. “Look, Simon, I understand. I grew up on Homebase as well, it’s… not easy.” Understatement. “But I didn’t let that stop me. I worked hard, harder than anyone. It wasn’t enough for the most part, until I was sent on a mission to a colony, to deliver some new form of pressure cannon.
I thought it was nothing. Just a delivery job until I made it big. They commended my work when I got back and asked me to help again, in a more senior role. I took a chance, Simon, and thirty years later I’m a decorated captain.” I looked up into her eyes, a spark of kindness greeting me, “What are you trying to say ma’am?” She gave me the smallest of smiles, the barest hint of her pointed teeth showing. “I’m trying to say, work hard and take chances. Now go on, you’ve got business to attend to!” I grinned back and took off with gusto.
My business was to clean the station. It wasn’t big by any means, a simple research outpost with no more than 4 floors, but it felt huge when you had to scrub every inch of it. Even then, I couldn’t care less. The captain was right, I was in space! Me, a glorified janitor from Homebase, born and raised in an already explored universe. Yet, here I was, on the verge of the unknown. I scrubbed the last tile of the last corridor on the second floor, right outside Carlos’ door, and I needed to take a chance.
I tapped on the wall at the beginning of the hall, depositing my supplies in the compartment the very second it opened. I made my back to Carlos’ quarters, the hallway feeling longer and longer with each step. Carlos had told me earlier that the research shuttle would be arriving in six hours, so it was now or never! My breathing started to quicken. We can do this, no, we have to do this! We can’t go back yet…
I knocked, to no response. “Who’s thur?” Carlos slurred. The door slid open, revealing a deshelled Carlos. I heard a murmur behind him and noticed a very suspicious lab coat covered in flower pins and broaches. That’s going to hurt later, I thought, sucking down the anguish. It could wait. “Si? What time is it?” Carlos asked, rubbing his head.
I looked him dead in the eye and smiled my best Carlos smile. “Time for one last spacewalk!” Carlos closed his eyes, opened them and closed them once more. I tried to say something, but he shushed me, gesturing to his bed. “No no, it’s time for sleep. It’s time to dream and say your goodbyes to this cramped station, and it’s time for us to follow Gretkin’s orders for once. Good night Simon.” The door slid closed, but I knocked again.
“Come on Carlos! You know I only got on this station for publicity, this could be my last chance!” It wasn’t a lie; most research stations don’t need a Sanitation Officer. If it weren’t for the pollution issues on Homebase, and shifty politicians, I wouldn’t have even been considered for a space voyage. “Please! I can’t go back without doing something! I’m not ready yet! I need to have one good story before I go back to my worthless life!”
The door swung open and Carlos practically jumped out, grabbing me by the collar. “It isn’t worthless and don’t you dare say that!” He hissed. All I could do was shakily nod my head. I’d never seen Carlos like that before. “S-sorry, but I can’t go back until I have a story worth telling!” I clenched my fist and braced for the no.
Carlos sighed, releasing my collar before turning around. “Just one last walk?” He asked quietly. Yes! “Absolutely, just one last recording. Please!?” He sighed and looked at his bed longingly. He looked back at me, the warmth of his dark eyes slowly melting into his face. “Fine. One last time.” He said, grabbing his pants.
—————————————————————————————————————-
I drifted out into space, the Egg expanding before me. “This is last chance I have to make my mark, and this fucking thing won’t even budge!” I said, hoping the Egg would hear and do something. It didn’t. “There’s nothing you can do about it Simon, it’s time to come back.” I didn’t want to believe it; I didn’t want to turn around. I was ready, I was so ready to go back to my life and tell them, I did it! I was the one that found that out about the Egg. My nephews and nieces would learn about me in schools, I was ready for that.
The Egg was getting closer and closer, soon it was the only thing I could see any more. “I’ve never been this close before. It’s so… solid…” I said, reaching my hand out. “Simon no!” Carlos yelled into my ear, but I disconnected the feed. There was something about this mass, this solid ink floating in space. I stretched as far as I could, so close to touching it. The shell of the Egg swirled, rippling like disturbed water as I got closer. It felt like all of space was screaming at me to turn back, to run away.
Then, I touched it.
It was barely a graze, the lightest brush of my fingertips. It was enough. The liquid shell grabbed my hand, sucking it in like a vacuum. “Aaaaahhhhh!” I yanked back as hard as I could but it would give. I slammed my hand on the com button, “Carlos! The Egg has my hand, it won’t let go! Reel me in! REEL ME IN!” My suit tugged and I could almost feel the cord straining to get me away.
The Egg has swallowed up to my wrist now, then the rippling stopped. My whole body jerked back as the cord tightened. The shell began to bulge out, following my hand, refusing to let me go. I felt like I couldn’t breathe, and panic gripped me almost as tightly as the Egg did. Cracks started to form where my arm was, a bright white light shining through them. Please please please please!
KRRRRRK!
My arm was free! It was cold and in pain, but free! The Egg, however, had seen better days. The hole that my arm had made was sealing quickly, but before it could completely close, the shell cracked. A small crack at first, stark white on the inky black shell. Then it spread, a thin jagged line breaking its way across the anomaly.
The cracks wrapped around the Egg, silent but fierce. The black mass began to compress itself, changing into a black sphere. It watched me as the airlock doors shut. I barely waited for the airlock to pressurise before ripping the suit off. My hand was shaking, but I was afraid to look. I opened my eyes for a second and saw an inky black mark swimming around my wrist.
“Simon!” Carlos screamed, running in to hug me. We both collapses to the floor, but at least the shock reminded me to breathe. “Are you ok?! Don’t you ever do that again! Are you hurt, is your hand fine!?” I’d never seen him this worried before. I managed to nod back at him, the relief his face shone with making me feel a thousand times better.
“What was it like? What did you feel?” I stared at my hand, the black mark already fading. “Nothing. There was nothing in there Carlos, the Egg is empty…” We just sat for a moment as that sank in, staring at the crack I left in the shell. It looked like it was made of light. We watched a bit longer before putting the suit away and walking back to the rooms.
“We can’t tell anyone about this Si. Gretkin’s usually all threat, but I could really lose my job for this!” I stared at him incredulously. “We just watched the biggest egg in the universe crack, something I literally had a hand in, and you’re worried about Gretkin?” Carlos thought for a moment, “You need to get that checked out by Mary.” Now that made sense and we hurried to his room.
Mary was my favourite crew member, stern but fair. There was an air of professionalism around her, even with her flower broaches, unkempt orange hair and full-face smile. She used to give me smiles in the hall and was the only one that like my audio logs. I liked Mary. She walked fast, outpacing Carlos and I, the clicking of her shoes both calming and alarming.
“I cannot believe how stupid you two are! Disobeying Gretkin is one thing but touching a space anomaly! You could have brought trillions of alien diseases I’ve never even heard of in here, not to mention how lucky you are to just be alive!” I mumbled an apology as we approached the med bay. I really liked Mary, but she was terrifying when you pissed her off.
“I need to give you full scans, pull out all the stops! This may even stop us from going home Simon…” She paused at the thought, her whole demeanour changing. Mary was a part of the original research crew and hadn’t seen her family in four years. She switched on the med bay lights in silence. Carlos nudged me and I shuffled closer to her. “Look, Mary, I’m really sorry. I didn’t mean to-”
“Is that a man in there?”
Carlos and I whipped our heads around to look into the room. Sure enough, there was a grown man lying on the bed in the med bay. He wore strange robes, like from a hospital or something, and he was painfully thin. Mary looked back at the two of us, her face still trying to decide if it should look confused or afraid. “Carlos, call the captain. She’ll want to see this…”
Soon the captain and Senior Officer stood beside us, just as shocked as we were. “How is this even possible?” Gretkin whispered to herself. She looked terrified, a very unsettling thing to see on the Senior Officer. Nothing could shake the captain however, who calmly turned to Mary and asked, “Do you have a scan on whatever he, or it, is?”
“I do, and I have to say, he’s… impossible” “How?” The captain asked. “Well, it’s almost like he doesn’t have any normal vitals. He’s missing several organs, which should be playing havoc with his body, but his pulse is stable, and his life signs are alright.” The captain swore quietly, “Damn computers, never work when we need them!”
It was possible, this station was by no means new. I sometimes wondered how the researchers got anything done on such outdated tech. “Captain, his pulse is getting quicker! I think he’s waking up!” Mary stated, frantically clicking at the screen. The strange man seemed to fall of the bed onto his feet and stumble to a mirror, staring at himself. “What is he?” The captain asked, reading for her gun.
She went into the med bay, hand glued to her holster. It was a pressure cannon, meant to stun dangerous officers to be held in the brig. It was powerful enough to knock out someone Carlos’ size in a single shot. This guy, whoever he was, would spend the last remaining hours we had here locked away until the transport came. That was a guarantee.
“I am the captain of this station and you may refer to me as such. State your business and how you entered here without our knowledge.” The man simply stared at himself. He turned slowly, barely registering the captain’s presence. “Are you a stowaway?” She asked, inching closer. He looked at her quizzically, as if he hadn’t heard her. She moved ever so slightly closer and asked as clearly as possible. “Who are you?”
The man straightened up and he turned to stare at me. I gasped aloud at the very sight of his eyes. They were pure white, devoid of pupils. A single black, jagged line went across each them horizontally. “Impossible.” Mary said and the man smiled, looking directly at me. He opened his mouth like it was a new sensation, and in a raspy voice said something that chilled me to the core.
“I’m ready.”
The man turned to the captain. She drew her weapon, “Halt! I will shoot!” He simply grinned and moved toward her. “I’m not going to warn you again! I will fire!” The man’s grin grew to the corners of his mouth. The crew and I were stunned, watching dazed as this man moved. Suddenly he stopped and started to emit a sharp clicking noise from his body. The man took a stance, but there was something off about it, like his legs were too far apart. “His legs,” Mary said quietly, the spell broken for a moment as we stared at her, “They’re dislocated…”
We heard the sound of metal scraping metal, a short gasp and my breath caught in my throat. I turned around to see the man burying a scalpel into the captain’s side. He’d somehow covered the ground between them in an instant, his legs bending revoltingly. “Well, captain.” He said, angling his neck to the side, “Are you ready.” The captain’s breathing was haggard, but she aimed the cannon at him. “Fuck off.” She said, squeezing the trigger.
A blast of pressurised air knocked the man clean off his feat and across the room. He slammed into the med bay wall and the crew rushed in. “Captain, are you alright!?” Carlos practically yelled, moving catch her as her body slumped. “I’m fine, I’m fine.” She said, waving them off as she steadied herself. Gretkin and Mary were standing over the man, Gretkin’s own cannon aimed squarely at his head.
The captain gestured to Carlos, who helped her onto the bed. She called the rest of us over. “Crew! I’m down for the count. I need to rest for a while until the research crew arrives, which is approximately four hours from now.” She winced slightly and held her side, “Gretkin and Simon will take that thing to the brig and guard him. Mary will take the command room, make sure he hasn’t damaged any of our systems.”
“Carlos, I need you to get to the airlock. It has a small range communications system; you can let them know we need immediate evac. Inform them of the foreign entity when they get here. You will alert us when they arrive.” Everyone nodded and began moving, Gretkin already taping the man’s hands together with bandage. “Wait,” I said quickly, “Why don’t we radio them now and fill them in?”
Carlos shook his head, “The command room radio is a direct line to Homebase only. This is a research outpost in the middle of nowhere, with nothing of value on it. They didn’t want to waste money on relief support.” God damn Homebase cheapskates! “Don’t worry though,” Mary said reassuringly, giving me a smile, “I’ll check the systems, radio Homebase and come patch the captain up real quick!” I smiled back and set off with Gretkin. There was work to be done!
…
“I hate the brig.” I muttered, shuddering as another light flickered. Researchers rarely had need to imprison each other, so it was no surprise that it was the least maintained room in the station. The addition of a violent and mysterious prisoner failed to brighten the mood. I looked around the dimly lit room, the soft rattle of the prisoner’s cuffs behind me filling the air. “He must be waking up now…” I said softly, a small whimper in my voice.
Gretkin growled, gripping her pressure cannon even tighter. I wasn’t authorized to have one, she’d said with a sick sort of glee. Of course, there were only two on the ship, a point she masterfully dodged. She stared at me, avoiding turning her head so far as to see the prisoner. “Quite your complaining Hometrash! It’s bad enough I have to be next to you, let alone hear you!”
I couldn’t take it any longer. “Why do you hate me so much, Senior Officer?” I asked. She looked back at me for a moment, her face squeezed into a tight grimace. “I hate you, Sanitation Scum, because unlike the other real officers here you didn’t earn this! You Homebasers are all the same, everything is handed to you! Rank, status, everything! If you had grown with me in the colonies, I guarantee you would be dead! Perhaps even tolerable, but mainly dead!”
I was quiet for a moment, biting my lip. I saw something in Gretkin then, almost a hint of remorse, quickly buried under more silent fury. She turned finally and walked to the prisoner, growling at him instead. “This is all your fault, you worm!” She spat at the man, “One last mission! One final fucking time waster with imbeciles and ingrates before my return home!”
“They were going to make me captain! Finally! No more relief missions, no more school trips for whiney cleaners! A proper crew! Glory! Honour! Respe-” She was cut off by a sudden hand around her throat. The man’s left hand raised the Senior Officer into the air, while his right made awful snapping noised as it broke itself. He squeezed the now limp hand out of the cuff, lurching forward to slam Gretkin into a wall.
“You do make such a large amount of noise…” He rasped, “You woke me up… But now that I’m going, I have to ask… Are you ready…Gretkin…?” She gasped and gasped, shaking her head profusely. “Do not worry… Senior Officer…” He smiled that cruel grin of his, “You…Will…Be…” She tried to scream, but her throat would allow it. He simply smiled, turned to me and whispered, “Run…”
A sharp twist. That was all it took for Gretkin’s neck to snap. She stopped moving after that, hanging limp in the man’s grip. The way he smiled at me, it was like an animal smiling at his prey, his meal, that thought it still had a chance to run. I didn’t even feel my legs moving, but the next thing I knew I was down the hall, trying to block the mad cackling and horrific noises coming from the room behind me.
I sprinted as fast as I could, but I couldn’t get anywhere. As much as we had to keep up with our stamina in the station, we weren’t prepared for marathons. “What do I do!?” I wheezed, trying to get my breath back. Gasping for air, I heard the slapping of bare feet on a metal floor. I froze for a moment, falling against the wall. It made a small click and I pulled it open to reveal an empty storage compartment.
I quickly scrambled inside, folding myself into the tiny space. I watched, squeezed into the compartment, as the thing walked by. It was covered in blood, considerably taller than before and with much longer arms. Neither of which were broken. It had to hunch to fit in the corridor. If it weren’t for the eyes, I would hardly recognise it.
My body was shaking at the sight of it. How did it change, how did it fix its wrist!? And what did it do with Gretkin? I had to fight back a sob at the thought. The thing fell forward, arms outstretched and catching itself before it hit the floor. Tiny clicks and horrific pops echoed in the corridor as it straightened its back as far as it would go. I screwed my eyes shut and blocked my ears, wishing it would just leave.
It was some time before I opened my eyes, how long I couldn’t say. I peeked out once more to spy an empty hall. Quickly I removed myself from the compartment, hobbling slightly on numb legs as I moved toward the entrance. Just then, Mary’s voice called out, “Simon? Simon!” “Mary?” I looked around for the source of the voice and found a small camera at the end of the corridor.
“I’m in the command room Simon.” Mary was safe! I jumped with joy at the thought, my predicament settling back into reality a moment later. That thing was still roaming the corridors, and it didn’t need weapons to kill me. If I whispered though, the camera wouldn’t pick up my voice.
This was a research station, not a prison! As if reading my mind, Mary assured me that the intercom was restricted to this corridor alone. I sighed in relief, but dread started to creep into me. I’d almost forgotten that thing existed. I began to miss my safe little compartment.
Even so, I started moving forward, jogging as quietly as I could from corridor to corridor. The ship had few floors and a camera on nearly everyone. I was still terrified, but knowing Mary was watching from the command room gave me some confidence. Occasionally I would stop to receive instructions from her.
“Look Simon, I’m not going to lie, that thing is dangerous. I can lead you through the ship, but you need to be quick and quiet. It got into the oxygen supply as well, halving it at least. We’re going to have to move efficiently, which means…” She trailed off in the most ominous of ways. I gulped. “Which means what?”
She didn’t respond for a bit, then quietly said, “I’m so sorry Simon. You have to cut through the med bay. It’s the only efficient way to get here quickly.” “Brilliant!” I breathed, “I can pick up the captain and bring her with me!” The intercom went quiet as I said that. I called out to Mary, again and again. Still quiet. One last try as I approached the med bay. Entering the room, it was like everything stopped.
I could barely hold back the sobbing as I stepped into the med bay, a pool of blood at my feet. I could only stare at what was left of the captain. Both of her legs had been removed and her arms lay broken at her sides. I inched closer, tears streaming down my face. “Oh captain, I’m so sorry.” I managed, my voice catching in my throat, “I did this. If I hadn’t touched the Egg, he wouldn’t have come. I’m so sorry!”
The captain managed a smile as she looked at me, her raspy breaths filling the room. She tried to move, but it was beyond her. “Don’t be sorry Simon… Even if that was true… You took a chance… Now go… And… learn… from… it…” The captain smiled once more as the light left her eyes. I sunk to me knees, weeping as quietly as I could. After a moment, I left quickly, as if I could run from that memory.
I got through two more floors before I had to stop. All of a sudden, the station’s corridors felt much longer than normal. It was like running through syrup and my lungs were on fire. “Simon, you can’t run that long in this low oxygen.” Mary said over the intercom, “You need to be smarter than that! What if he’d caught you!”
I staggered forward, breathing as deeply as possible while I did. The door at the end of the corridor slid open. The command room was much darker than I expected. Fear gripped me for a moment, and I turned around. Nothing. The corridor was empty, and I gave a panicked chuckle before entering the command room.
“M-Mary…?” I whispered, walking into the room. I saw a figure in the flickering light, huge frizzy hair and lab coat. “Mary!” I cried, sprinting to her. I pulled her into a hug and wept. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry! I couldn’t help the Captain, or even Senior Officer Gretkin! They’re dead! I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” “Don’t cry…” Said a strange voice.
My breath caught in my throat. No!
I looked up in time to watch Mary peel the skin off her face, her smile melting away into a cruel smirk as he towered over me. His eyes were white, pupil-less and bisected by a single black horizontal crack. He laughed a throaty chuckle and reached an abnormally long arm towards me. I planted my foot into the bridge of his nose and scrambled to my feet, sprinting away. It didn’t matter where I went anymore, I just needed to be away.
I sprinted down the corridor once more, fear driving me, turning back for just an instant to see it. The creature scuttled down the hall, using its arms and legs to move quicker. I ran faster than I ever thought I could run, pumping my legs until they burned. I just need to get to the end of the corridor, then I can close the door! I was going to make it; the corridor was ending so soon!
Suddenly, I slipped.
I hit the ground hard, making a wet squelch as I landed. I groggily lifted my head to see what I’d slipped on. Senior Officer Gretkin stared back at me, her torso missing. “Ah! AHHHHHH! No no no nononononono!” I screamed, scrambling forward as fast as I could. I heard the scurrying of the creature behind me. My heart was screaming. I searched the wall for a lockdown panel.
“Come on! COME ON!” I screamed, the thing moving closer and closer. Finally, a wall panel opened revealing a large red button and I slammed my hand into it. Huge metal doors slammed down just as the creature reached for me, crushing its outstretched arm. “YES! YES YES YES, FUCK YOU SPACE THING!” I yelled into the viewing port of the panel, watching the creature scurry around the room in panic.
It looked more like an insect now, with two extra legs coming out of its elongated body. It stood in a way, straightening its torso and looking around. After a moment it stared up, as if it knew exactly where the camera was. It cackled and spoke in that awful voice, like joints scraping against one another. “They were ready Simon! They were ready! And soon, you will be two!”
Its ruined arm dangled from its socket, but the creature still grinned. “Didn’t look ready to lose an arm, did you freak?” I said to myself, catching my breath. “Oh, but I did…” The thing replied. I froze in place, double checking the panel. No. No intercom system at all. It shouldn’t hear me; it can’t hear me! “Don’t worry Simon, I’ll be fine. And when I heal, I’ll be on my way to you. Be ready boy, be ready to make me whole!” Resting could wait, I bolted.
…
I slowly approached the airlock entrance, checking every corner for the creature. Or Carlos. Remembering Carlos was like a ton of bricks on my heart, but I pressed on. If the thing hadn’t got him yet, then he would be at the airlock. The room was at the very top of the station, so one final set of stairs later I found myself at the door.
“Carlos?” I said quietly, bracing myself for the worst. “In here!” I heard a voice call. One I would recognize absolutely anywhere. I rushed into the room to see Carlos, standing tall and smiling over the airlock control panel. I ran at him, tackling him to the ground for a hug. “Carlos, I can’t believe it’s you! I’m so glad! I’m… I…” I stopped for a moment, feeling a strange wet patch at my side.
I rolled off Carlos and looked down to see a large red stain on his shirt. “Oh god Carlos, no…” He smiled at me, coughing slightly, staggering to his feet. “He got me earlier Si, when I tried to get to the command room to help Mary.” He stopped for a moment, shut his eyes tight and continued softly, “I was too late, the monster! He followed me here, managed to stab me with something before I locked him out. I thought I’d be fine, but it just keeps getting worse…”
I couldn’t believe it. I didn’t want to believe it. “The research ship has to have a doctor on board! Maybe they could-” “No Simon!” He could barely even shout anymore; he was so pale. “I’m done for already. I’m not an idiot Si, I have no hope of winning, even if you did help. That thing is a monster and you need to survive, to tell the other what happened. The research ship will be here in an hour at the latest. Please! Let me help you!” I nodded and hugged Carlos for the final time.
Carlos set about prepping the controls as I reached the lockers, searching them for the suit I scratched an S into. They were on the other side of a bolted door, in the airlock itself. I slipped into the suit and closed the door behind me as the airlock depressurised. Looking at Carlos through the window, I switched on my radio.
“All good this side, and yours?” He nodded, “I’ve set the lock to open in a couple of minutes. Just sit out there and be safe Si. Not even that thing could survive in space!” I smiled, but my blood ran cold as I heard a loud banging. Carlos stared at me in fear and hit the radio button again. “Don’t look away Simon. Watch, watch it to the end and tell them what’s out here! Make sure they all know what happened. I believe in you Si…”
He gave me what was left of that crooked smile, then turned to face the creature. It was over quickly. The beast had picked up my friend with its unbroken arm, his huge form meaning nothing to this thing. It slammed Carlos into the floor and descended upon him. All I could hear was screaming and crunching. Then, it stopped.
I single bloody hand hit the window as the creature stood back up. It grinned at me, rhythmically slapping its hand against the window. Slowly at first, then faster and harder. It brought its other hand up, slamming that against the window too, out of time with the first. I watched this in awe for a moment, finally seeing it clearly.
Its skin was a patchwork of different shades, misshapen teeth in its head. Different types of hair come out of its scalp. It was a true monster now, even more so than before. Its fingers were curled like talons and its limbs loosed so much longer than last I had seen it, but broken and like they had been reattached.
One of his arms broke through the glass as the lock opened, the vacuum of space beginning to such air out of the room and pressing the thing against the window. I grabbed hold of a railing and watched it struggle, metal blast shields beginning to close upon the broken section. The arm swung at me and caught on a wall when I saw it. A single patch of skin bearing a steel heart on it. Carlos’ tattoo.
“Oh god,” I whispered, “You used their bodies?”
Suddenly I could see all of it, bits of Mary’s wild hair, the captain’s pointed teeth, Gretkin’s hooked nose and long nails. The creature stopped and stared at me as I began to lose my grip. The only thing left on it were those awful eyes, and it smiled. This thing smiled at me, sliding its arm back into the corridor. It gave me a small wave as space consumed me. I tumbled from the ship, spinning and spinning in the endless void.
—————————————————————————————————————-
“Star date, non-existent. Sanitation log, final entry: The Egg has opened. The Egg. Has. Opened. An anomaly came out of it. If the relief ship finds me before entering the station, DO NOT ENGAGE! The crew is dead, the station is dangerous and I’m running out of air. If anyone finds this, please, just go back. I’ll be going now, I’m finally ready. Signed, Simon. First Sanitation Officer of the Monitor.”
I turned off the audio recorder, drifting in space. The Egg was beside me, consuming my vision as I floated. “I was so interested in you.” I said, staring at the anomaly. The cracks had spread even more, branching out from the horizontal line they once were. “I was so sure you would be my calling. My reason. I was so very ready for everything to change.” I couldn’t help but chuckle, “Then, it did.”
I laughed some more, feeling tears on my face. “YOU WERE IT!” I screamed, “The last piece of the universe! Uncrackable! BUT I DID IT! I CRACKED YOU! Doesn’t that count!? Where’s my story, my fame, my history!?” I waited for an answer that would never come. I remained silent for a while, just letting the tears run. I stared up at the giant shell for what seemed the last time and said, “I’m not ready to go yet…”
The universe shook at those works, a thunderous screech coming from the cracks in the Egg. Slowly, the shell itself began to recede, the light burning images into my mind. Pictures of worlds, creatures, stars and people yet to be discovered. All watched over by a creature of unfathomable size, made of stardust and fear, its milky white eyes made of pure nothing back at me.
The thing’s claws reached over me from within the Egg. They were huge, impossibly huge, and yet they disturbed nothing. They flowed like ink, embracing the station and dragging it into the cracked shell. I watched in awe as the Egg swallowed the claws and the station, then as the cracks began to seal, I began to scream.
“You can’t just leave me here!” I shouted, staring into the white light of the egg. “Take me too!” NO! It bellowed, shaking me to my core, You are not ready. “Not ready? Not ready for what?” There was silence, pure and unflinching. The cracks on the egg began to close, taking all the warmth, all the cold, all the peace and all the fear with it.
You are not ready. Yet. But you will be…
—————————————————————————————————————-
“That’s the story?” Dr Franklin asked, adjusting her glasses. “Yes…” I said. My skin crawled, chafing my wrists even more as I squirmed against the handcuffs. “Simon, you truly expect us to believe that you, a ‘Sanitation Officer’ were the only survivor of a space monster attack? And your crew was murdered by a very convenient stranger? We found you floating in space, where a very expensive research station should be, babbling incomprehensibly. I must say, this isn’t looking good.”
“It’s OK.” I muttered, looking at my hands. “Excuse me?” I looked up at the doctor. “I said, it’s OK. You aren’t ready yet.” The room got a bit colder. Dr Franklin squinted her eyes at me and asked, “Ready for what?” The tingling in my skin got stronger and stronger, but I gritted my teeth and met her gaze. “You aren’t ready to believe.”
I was escorted to my room soon after. My orderly, a big burly man, whistled some random tune as he wheeled me along. The other patients avoided getting close to us. They were afraid of me. They weren’t ready yet either. “Here you go Simon,” he said, picking me up and putting me in my bed, “And look! I even have some food for you!”
He took a boiled egg out of his pocket, painted black, and threw it too me. I shuffled backwards as fast as I could, hitting the floor with a thud. “Try not to kill anyone over it!” He said, laughing his way out. The egg watched me as I crawled to the corner, shaking fiercely. It’s not the egg, it’s not the egg, it’snottheegg,itsnottheegg!
The egg rolled towards me, a thin white crack wrapping around it like a band. “NO! No no no no no! I’m not ready!” I yelled, but the crack only got bigger and bigger. It rolled into my leg and stopped. A piece of the shell fell off, and an eye stared into my own. White, with a single black crack bisecting it horizontally. My heart stopped and the walls of my room melted into inky blackness.
—————————————————————————————————————-
“Captain, his vitals are returning. I think he’s waking up!”
I opened my eyes to find a strange room, brightly lit and strange smelling. I shifted from the bed to the floor, drifting on lazy feet to a nearby mirror. My mind couldn’t believe it, my heart leapt out of my chest and my head rung. My eyes where white, pupil-less, with a single black crack bisecting them horizontally.
I looked out of the room to see five people staring back. Three women and two men, staring in horror at my eyes. One entered the room, holding her hip. She said something that I couldn’t hear, but my ears suddenly switched on. “Who are you?” The eldest asked, inching closer. I breathed in one last time, staring at the young man directly across from me. He stared back, not in fear, but curiosity. I smiled and picked up a sharp instrument, turning to the captain. “I’m ready.”
Oh in the autumn,
when leaves fall without a sound,
and flowers, proteus in nature,
fall to the ground.
Some struggle on,
some refuse to lie down, as we all try,
this time around.
The ideal of true love
is an accent mark over the e in life,
transforming a word I know so well
into an unfamiliar but infinitely fascinating sound.
The stars are swimming
Beyond my vision
The butterfly, the breaststroke
The backstroke, the crawl
And how lucky from my podium
I can see it all
Something I’ve recently thought of
Is humans are just about water
A fact that’s often supplied
And it can’t be denied
It holds us together like mortar
But in the vast human soul
We look as waves do mull
But when the ocean is still
Oh our spirits do fill
And the hearts of all men do roll
So when tragedy comes to bare
And the situation seems so unfair
Remember my friend
Until the very end
All who love you are there
The opalescent
Radiation of my eyelids
Betray a need
For distraction
My mind screams
Banalities into open air
As it fears
The silence
Painful rhythms
My heart produces
To fight complacency
And the emptiness
Every part of me
Fights for life
So why does my soul
Wish for peace?
The trees by my home
Sway gently in the rain
I watch, engrossed
They look so calm
I see the vestiges
Come from distant shores
Their skin was not golden
But calloused and coarse
I saw their ship
Made from bones, made from dreams
They heard not our cheers
They cautioned not our screams
I saw these gods
These men of myth
I witnessed their depravity
I watched their filth
I saw these poor men
Ruined by our thought
What seas had they seen?
What battles had they fought?
They walked in quiet steps
They came in muted light
Like thieves sneaking in
The last vestiges of light
Everyone looks elsewhere
To the place
Where dreams
Live
But dreams are inside of me
I’ve never needed
Another home
Outside my mind
I care not for my surroundings
The landscape changes
With my every
Thought
I care not for the details
In the picture
I hear clicking
Within my eyes
I am scared
Every new place holds me hostage
Unfamiliar halls with
Strange new walls
But in my mind
Live worlds
Beyond what this place
Can provide
Perhaps I’m bland
Unsalted and untested
Calloused not by adventure
But by repetition
However,
I’ve never lived in a way
I didn’t want to
I reject all else
My adventure lies
In the confines of my heart
I seek not blank slates
As the dirt creates me
A traveller came
With head held high
Proclaiming to the world
They sought beyond
Beyond what,
I queried, a cautious person
By nature
But they just smiled
Beyond the beyond
They cried
Where beyond draws the line
And the beyond becomes home
I squinted in the deep noon
But they were gone
Travelling
To their dream
While my feet stood
Roots growing
Solid and steady
To the here and now
Light bleeds into dark
Like paint on a canvas
It’s cold outside
Memories break the dam
A controlled flow
It’s cold outside
My throat is tight
Like a drum waiting to be played
It’s cold outside
I can hear voices
Friends and loved ones
It’s warm inside
I always loved the cold
Because I never let the warmth in
It’s warm inside
I’m afraid
What if the door is locked?
It’s cold outside
Light spills through a crack
Should I go?
It’s warm inside
My drink is warming
My mind is cold
I pause
I feel old
And in the lights
And warm stages of the evening
Where my stories are told
I see eyes
Don’t fire until you see
The whites of their
Eyes
But the whites don’t tell the story
The colours, the rings of humanity
Around the holes
Where light gets in
Those left by parents
That see the moments
Belonging to you
The rings are what I seek
But as I stand
The whites of eyes reflected
Given precedence by stage lamps
And perception
I see a canvas
Blank pages of memory
The flash of the camera
Allowing us to capture a moment
The Spire 